Im at strip club and am horny
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
3 2 1 whiskey
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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