Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
