I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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