I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
