I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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