if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
