did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
