everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
