i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
