So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
