dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
