Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
