I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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