On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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