Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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