she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
