I just cut my nipple shaving
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
