Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
