Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
