she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
