Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
