Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Small penises have feelings too.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
