apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
