Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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