you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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