so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
