Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
