Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
