my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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