I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
there's paper in my vomit.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
