Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
