GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
