people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
