And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
