Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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