We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
