When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
