plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
