I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
