You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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