how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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