Pants 0. Shit 1.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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