I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
