You can't special order awesome
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
