dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He shit in the fireplace
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
