I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
