You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
