So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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