guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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