SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
