You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just pee around me
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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