Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
